Miroir.

The last time I checked the mirror, there was still me. Me in a better light, but me that had been forgotten until I turned the page to “finding myself”. I have been a daughter, a sister, a friend and recently, a wife. And, yes, I do love all these roles. But, somewhere, in between trying to fill the gaps and making sure there was no leaf left unturned, I had forgotten to be myself.

I guess, we have all been there and done that! I am sure there are still women out there who are going through these same pangs. But, do we just sit by? Watch the world spin and see the people rolling around in their existent, fulfilling lives. I guess not! There comes a time when it hits you in the face. A time, when you can no longer look at the mirror and not see the blemishes. The spots of disappointments and the stain of sadness, seeping through the core of your existence.

I hate the preachers and the experts. I hate the way that one girl who shouts from the rooftops saying she is fine. I hate the fact that there is one woman on a holiday by herself, writing her joys in her diary. I hate that lady who skips to her tunes and dances the night away. I hate that person who knows what she wants and fights to the end for that one chocolate on the shelf. And, I hate the one who catches herself once she falls through the cracks of heartache and burn.

It’s not that I am a hater. I just hate that all the above are not me. That used to be me. I used to be that somebody. Always wearing a smile and wandering around the lanes of no-turning-backs. I am not lost, but mislead in this street of life. I do thank all the great people in my life - my family, my husband and my friends. I am who I am because of what they said, did and told me.

And, now I need to give back. Go back to that precise moment where I stopped being me. Where I turned away from myself. And, finally go back to reaching for the stars and drawing away the blues. I want to be that girl who can wear a grin and watch the boat leave her island of woes. I want to be that woman who has no cares and wears her dress shorter. I want to be that person who stretches her arms and embraces the one closest to her just to feel their touch. I want to be that being who opens her doors and lets the excitement of new in. And, finally, to be the girl who leaves her sleeves open and turns her collar up, just to let everyone know that she is ready.

It’s time! Yes.